The 3rd Culture generation

Being part of the third culture generation, has allowed us to recreate the world in ways that makes us create stronger bonds and break down invisible walls created by misinformation and judgement.

We don’t shy away from questioning cultures and indulging in cultures that seem different from ours. We aren’t afraid to be heard and to be seen – we have learned how to survive as kids by standing out unintentionally.

We have left our hearts in lands we have lived in, for each land has played a role in shaping us.

My experiences have led me to be very aware of cultures and how we perceive each other and being wary of judgement and stereotyping.

We are strong, resilient and determined to leave the world a bit better than we found it.

Although I can’t tell you the name of the streets my families live in Yemen nor can I be left unattended there, I have a strong connection to the small memories.

My home remains to be where I find my peace. My heart is made of small pieces I have picked from all the places I have lived and all the people I met along the way.

My friends Rabia and Sidra got me through 3rd – 5th grade in Nairobi, Sang Kyong Kim my South Korean friend got me through 6th grade in Yemen. Vicky Lee (British), Samra (Tanzanian), Mariam (Indian) and Adalat (UAE) all got me through high school. Samira (American) got me through University in Ajman and so many more from all parts of the world got me to where I am today.

I am a collection of stories, pains, dreams, triumphs, dark holes, love, marriages, divorces, births and deaths of all those who shared their precious lives with me.

That includes all my virtual friends, some of which I have met and many of whom I haven’t.

Each and every one of your stories live with me and on some days, they give me the strength to keep going.

Thank you.


Like air I’ll rise

According the dictionary, one of the definitions of strengths is “the capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure”.The thing about life is that no one passes it without “great force or pressure”, however, the key to strength is the “capacity to withstand”.

We have often heard that one does not receive a burden more difficult than s/he can handle. The reality of it is that everyone’s performance depends on how firmly they want to succeed. Being strong is not easy, but the rewards are tremendous.

It’s like when you upgrade your car and after a while your eye aims on something bigger, better or stronger. In the same way, once you have overcome a difficulty with strength, that becomes a new skill and you will just need to pull out the lessons you learned from the previous one if you ever get tested in the same way again.

However, being strong is a choice. It’s not enough to just go through lots of problems in your life to be strong. It is the work you put during the circumstances and the promises you make to yourself and how you hold yourself accountable to them.

With each burden, we go through a period of intense pain to a point of hopelessness. The stages of grief have to happen, slowly, deeply but surely.

Being strong does not mean not falling, not hurting or not crying. Strength is what you do after the downfall. Do you sit and look at the bleeding and cry about your misery or do you get up and keep going regardless of the scars created. Strength is so powerful and instrumental in having a positive life experience, to a point where you say “I know this might hurt me or heal me but I have faith in myself in that I am strong enough to overcome it if things go wrong”.

Do not shy away from the work. Do not distract yourself with addictions and distractions. Sit, cry, pray, feel, hurt then pick yourself up and be ready to face the inconvenience. If others can do it, why can’t you?Still I Rise


You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don’t you take it awful hard

’Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.


Image result for keeping the broken heartI used to play a popular game with my brother called Prince of Persia, where we would use our keyboard to guide a man through a series of obstacles. The hardest to get through was the spiked metals that logged themselves into the thighs of the Prince. Time and again, my brother and I would take turns to get to higher levels. Each time the Prince got spiked, he bled and we had to start over again. I had gotten pretty good at Prince of Persia and had almost  rescued the princess.

Last week, nostalgia hit hard and I started to play the game again. This was after not playing it for 15 years or more. Each time I started off my character he would go running at my command of pressing the right arrow, but I would get caught up at the first metal spikes on the first round, and time and again I would restart the game and practice the jump so that I wasn’t late in pressing the jump button. Eventually, after 7 attempts I managed to get my hero to jump over the spikes without being hurt and I felt triumphed.

Recently while talking to a friend, she told me that anger has been her enemy of late. That she easily gets upset with her husband and refuses to talk because she believes time will heal, but does time really heal?

One of the hardest tasks is allowing the dust in the form of emotions to settle down so that you may be able to tackle the problem fairly and emotion-free.

Having been divorced 9 years ago and having gone through other forms of hurt, I can honestly say that time was not my healer, but rather self-reflection and a lot of painful conversations that I had to have with myself. I knew that my healing had happened when I was able to talk about the wounds without the tears flowing down my cheek, and when this happened and when I thought that my wounds were gone for life as though a plastic surgeon had grafted my wounds to make the mark disappear – I came to realize that every time my wounds were poked by a memory or a new challenge, the pain came back to life. So then, I started learning to be kind to myself and allowing myself some downtime to deal with the new poke.

We hurt in many ways – illnesses, bad marriages, bad divorces, loss and grief to name a few, but with every challenge, there has to be a time of reflection for it to start the healing progress.

Shock – denial – anger – depression – detachment – dialogue – bargaining  and finally acceptance is a normal cycle of what grief looks like. There is a lot of evidence to suggest how the brain processes negative emotions and that many of our ailments are connected to our negative emotions.

Having survived my pains, my humble advice to those still suffering is to know that there is an end to the suffering but only through work. Time alone does not heal anything, it only covers up the wound like a plaster does without healing it.

At the end of the day, we are such resilient creatures that are able to make changes to our lives and to pick up our pieces after being hurt. The question is, are we brave enough to start the healing process?

As I played Prince of Persia last week, it only confirmed one thing to me. Practice makes perfect. My growth and aging did not help me become a better gamer without practice so why would I think that my heart and head will function better with time without any practice?

A tribute to my family

I woke up this morning to reach out to my phone. Yes, it was plugged into the socket on my side table, I know that’s not good for me because of all the radiation however, last night, a friend stayed up with me to make sure that I was awake to pray my 4:00 am prayer before I slept. We talked about emotions, hurt and moving on. We discussed spirituality, ambition and gave each other some life lessons

So as I woke up at 12:00 pm, I reached out to my phone to make sure my close friend was alright – today was the day we find out whether or not the lump was cancerous. I spent a few moments praying that it was going to be alright and knowing that whether or not the outcome we were praying for was going to happen – we were going to have to figure out how to survive the results.

I checked in on my best friend who had a sore throat and chest pain that was awoken by the pains the night before to make sure she was alright and my other friend whose back had been hurting so much that when she was washing dishes she had tears of pain.

I wrote to another who was going through a period of questioning whether or not she was ready for divorce and just listened to what she had to say about what the pros and cons of going through a divorce were.


I checked in on my other friend whose foot was in pain and I had massaged the night before to see if the massage had worked, then discussed with her our new project of creating a board game.

I then scrolled down the group chats to find a discussion about the Iftar gathering one of them was organizing for us, in it, she discussed all the yummy food she was thinking of making for us, and then another group that had some quotes that resonated with my life.

On snapchat, My friend had sent me a picture of her sore eye and she was telling me that eye drops had been restricted in the UK and that she had to rough it out.

Recently at school during a discussion with my year 5 students about social media, we discussed the dangers of social media and although many students agreed that social media made us unsocial, one of my students argued – using a report- the contrary. She said that it allows us to connect with people much more than we would have had we not had it.

In an hour of waking up this morning, I had connected with friends in the UAE, Kenya, Canada, Pakistan and the UK. Something I would have never dreamed of doing 15 years ago.

In an hour of awakening, I had been in touch with no less than 10 people.

Having connections is a basic human need. Without it, we would be depressed and closed off in our confinement of the four walls. Knowing about the struggles and triumphs of all my friends gives me the energy to wake up each morning and gives me a purpose in life, to support, encourage and to let them know that I am here and that I care.

Not only am I there for my friends, but my friends are always there for me without fail. When I’m feeling down, all I need to do is reach out  and my friends would pick me up and know exactly what I need. If I was feeling lonely all I needed was to let my friends know and suddenly an outing would be made to ensure that I am not feeling unloved or living a lonely life. If I have a life decision I can talk to so many of my wise friends to hear their perspective and help guide me through conversation.

We often talk about how teachers and mothers have so many tasks to fulfill and what a rewarding job it is. I believe being a friend is one of the most rewarding jobs one could ever have. To be a friend is to be a life coach, therapist, masseuse, interior designer, fashion designer, entertainer and motivator. My friends have seen my tears, my bruises and my most unflattering states. They have watched each crack of my heart, each new line on my face and each grey hair and they know exactly which incidents caused them. They are my motivators that encourage me through each challenge and my fans who celebrate each milestone I accomplish.

Sometimes I wonder what will happen to me once I am older and I cannot keep up with all the details of my precious friends’ lives? And time and again, my friends have shown me that I don’t have to worry about it because if that was to happen, my friends would be by my side reminding me of their names each second if they needed to.

I have a lovely family that come in different shapes, colours, ages and experiences. Each friend adds a magical touch to my life and completes my fairy tale. I truly believe that “friends are the family we choose for ourselves” and I am blessed to have such a diverse and loving family.

The Brothers

There was a once a successful farmer who needed to travel to a far away land to buy a new crop. Before he left he called his two sons and said, “my dear sons, I am getting ready for a long journey I want you to take care of my farm. Each one will be in charge of an area.” And with that, he left on his journey.


While away the sons took charge of the farm. Mohammad and Ahmed both had a schedule to follow that their dad had handed to them. It stated the time to water and harvest the plants and they both worked diligently to make their father proud.

Mohammad was very precise with the schedule, he watered the plants every other day, weeded once every two weeks and harvested every month as stated in the plan. He sold the fruits to the market on every 10th day of the month.

Ahmed was very hardworking too. He took care of his side and after following the schedule his dad had left him, he harvested 100 fruits during the first month.

Ahmed knew that if he made changes he would be able to be more successful with his plants. So he decided to change the plan in order to harvest more. Ahmed watered his plants everyday and weeded every week. He became so excited when the fruits of the first harvest came earlier than before and was able to sell 150 fruits on the 1st of the month instead of the 10th.

Ahmed had found a method that was better and that produced faster results but as the second harvesting period approached the fruits werent sellable. The merchants complained that his fruits had become tasteless.

Ahmed had a hard time selling his fruits and he ended up selling them at a loss. He also noticed that his plants were getting weak and were tilting to one side. He decided to put in even more work in hopes that he could save the plants. He readded fertilizer and watered them twice a day.

After a few weeks the father came back and went around his farm to look at the state of his plants.

While having dinner he sat with his sons and said. “My dear sons, I see that you both have put a lot of effort in taking care of the plants. Mohammad you did as you were told and you patiently waited for the harvest.
Ahmed you added extra work and stayed up day and night taking care of the plants. You showed resilience and perseverance”.

Ahmed told his dad he couldn’t understand how by adding more work he was not successful in his harvest, “I did everything extra that I could” he reflected.

“My dear Ahmed, patience is a virtue, but learning when to use it is an essential skill. Many times when you overdo things and you think that you are exerting a form of patience by giving up your sleep and your free time, you really end up harming your cause. Imagine if one of your employees came to ask you for a raise in his pay and even though you tell him to give you some time to think about it and find a way to restructure your finances, he keeps nagging at you every time he sees you. How would you react to him?”

“I would ignore him and not try to help him” said Ahmed.

“Precisely, Instead of allowing you the chance to consider his request, he would most likely make you shove his request to the side. But if he was patient, and gave you a chance to think about it you probably would have found a way.

My dear son, when you gave up your time to water the plants and your sleep to weed and harvest them, what seems like a noble thing to do isn’t in the best interest of your plants. They overworked for a while, then they gave up because they couldn’t keep up with your requests and demands.

The reason Mohammad’s plants did well was because he waited and gave them what they needed when they needed it.”

Ahmed reflected on what his dad was teaching him. Although he had put in a lot of effort, persevered and had the best interest of the farm, all the plants needed was some space to grow slowly but surely.


If I was to have met my 6 years younger self , I would have so much to say.

To begin with, damage happens but only if you allow it to. There are many people who let go of life and live like the coccon of a caterpillar. Instead of embracing their wings after the break has happened, they give up, find no purpose and are too afraid to face the challenges of regrouping and remodelling of themselves that lies ahead.

As human beings we have the ability of being far too resilient to be damaged, however there are struggles that change us forever.

When I look back at all the stories and inspiration I gained over the years, I think of Mandela who defied physical torture, he taught me that no one has control over you except in what you allow them to have.

I think of Malala who defied all forms of societal limitations to be and get to where she wants to be.

Gaborey Sidebe who defied negativity and cyber bullying with this comment “‘To people making mean comments about my GG pics, I mos def cried about it on that private jet on my way to my dream job last night.”, she taught me to focus on the positive and not to hand those who want to pull us down a chance to do so by feeling like we owe them an explanation or am apology of who we truly are. That if one is determined to think ill of you, no amount of talking and explaining will fix their negativity towards you.

Life happens, shit happens and you never become the person you used to be. A part of you gets chipped away in the cruelest and unexpected way – no one ever chooses to have a part of themselves chipped willingly.


Unfortunately, sometimes the closest to you don’t understand and you might find yourself in a constant battle with them trying to explain the scars that you bear which have changed you and which make you weary of every action and step you take.

I would tell my younger self not to worry because I got myself covered by the will of Allah. That 6 years later I am still healing, hurting and growing, and that is because I chose the journey of resilience.

That some days would feel like the world is on top of my shoulders but through the struggle there is satisfaction in knowing that I am not not giving up the fight. That I am not damaged goods nor do I need fixing, all I need is spritual and emotional growth.

So to all my friends who think they are damaged and unfixable, do not give up the battle of self reclamation.

Live, grow and be who you want to be even though it will take you a long time to get there. With every right step, there might be two miss-takes. But if you don’t give up and you keep taking that one step in the right direction, is one step closer to being your best self.

Creating harmony in our homes

Once I walked into a house and found a child crying hysterically and complaining to his mother in between sobs “Ahmed hit me!” the child said, immediately the mother went to get a belt and out of anger she hit Ahmed and said “don’t you ever hit your brother again, why can’t you be kind to him? You should control your anger, you are the older one!”.

The younger child had wiped away his tears as he watched his older brother being punished, a sight of triumph could easily be noticed on his face. Ahmed on the other hand was now hysterically crying in the corner of the room.

As I watched, I noticed so many contradictions in what the mother was saying and doing. She preached through her words that Ahmed should be kind to his brother because he is older and also that he shouldn’t harm his brother. However in her approach the mother was doing the exact opposite. She was being harsh, she was reacting to anger and she harmed her son.

We often preach that actions are louder than words then go against our own mantra.

Another time, I visited a friend and when I walked into their house, I noticed that they had three words on the wall in their living room. They were made of glass and they shone beautifully grabbing the attention of whoever was to be in that room. As I sat, I stared at the wall for a while and understood why this family was in such harmony. The words read “love”, “mercy” and “peace” and a smile stretched on my lips as I remembered the verse of the Almighty:

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”

This family preached their philosophy and reminded each other each day about what was most important to their family. It made me wonder, how often do families know what their principles are?

I have met numerous families that sit with their children and talk about what the important characters that matter to them are. It is helpful as a family to talk about the five top characteristics you would like to see from each other.

Parenting is meant to be enjoyable. Children and money are the blessings of Allah but we often walk around talking about what a great burden our children are to us. It always helps to have a little more knowledge on the area of parenting and talking to people who could give us ideas on how to practically parent positively.

Here are some things that you could start to consider when parenting or living:

1. Reprimand the behavior not the person.

“You are such a bad child” does very little in helping a child improve, in fact it would probably be a reason to suck out self-confidence and esteem from children. A more harmonious approach would be to highlight the action that is not accepted for instance, “Muhammad, the word that you just used was not appropriate.”

2. Build bridges, do not burn them

It is important to make leave a door open for our children to know that they are welcomed back. “Don’t talk to me” or “I don’t want to see you right now” teaches children very little about what to do when something has gone wrong. Consider using lines such as “I am upset right now, you can talk to me after five minutes”.

3. Focus on the solution, not on the problem

Asking why a child broke a mug will not particularly help us resolve anything. Instead of being dwellers of the mistakes our children make, let us teach them problem- solving skills. “Would you please clean-up?” or questions such as “What do you think you could do differently next time?” makes them think about their actions and think about ways to improve them

4. Create harmony between siblings

Create an environment that is free of competitions “who will finish first” and “who is the better person” clearly makes a child feel like one is better than the other.

Creating a harmonious environment is about teaching children that we are all in the same boat and that we need each other to get to our destination. It is about instilling admiration, love and mercy between them. Once you have the setup right, the other pieces of the puzzle fall into place. Competitions might get your child to complete the food faster but it breaks the relationships between siblings by making them feel like one is better and more loved by the parent than the other.

5. Create independent children and problem solvers.

Instead of acting like the judge that would condemn one as the oppressor and the other as the oppressed, consider throwing the ball back at the court during sibling fights. Part of teaching them how to solve problems and getting them to be better siblings to each other and better human beings is instilling problem solving skills.

It’s always helpful to throw back the ball on the children’s court and let them figure things out by giving them guidelines such as.

  • You two have to speak to each other
  • No one is allowed to raise their voices
  • Both parties have to come out of this being satisfied
  • The better person is the person who is easy during arguments and looks for solutions to problems.

You could also explain to them the benefit and consequence of not resolving their problems. “If you cannot decide who plays next on the play station, I will take it away until you can learn how to play without fighting.”

6. We are friends who work in harmony not rivals

A mistake we often fall in to create so much hate between siblings is that of comparison. Instead of “Amer is so much better than you in math and look at Amin he can easily go up to the shopkeeper and ask for what he wants”,

“Amer is really good at solving math problems would you like to learn from him?” and “Amin is really good at speaking to the shopkeeper do you want to go with him so he can talk?” Each child has a unique character and as parents we are to highlight it to them and to their siblings so that we all know that we all fit together and work together to create harmony in our homes.

7. Be the change you want to see in your child

There is no use preaching what you do not put into action. Walk the talk. If you expect your child to know how to ask for forgiveness when he has done a mistake, be the first one to ask for forgiveness when you as a parent have gone wrong. Teach children that we are humans and no matter how “big” we are, we still have humility and we still believe they are important.


The Prophet SalaAllahu alaihi wa sallam lived by his quote: “The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.” (Tirmidhi, Sahih)

A Fairy story

I was born into this world, and when I opened my ears I heard them calling me princess. I didn’t know what this meant, but I started noticing the patterns. They clad me in the prettiest frills and I was protected from every fall. My tears were precious, my demands were answered, and I was the delicate joy of the house. Being a girl was the best gift I could have received.

They bought me doll houses, kitchen sets, and even a plastic iron to iron out my doll dresses. I had a dozen dolls that I taught each day. The best was when I could put on make-up, my prettiest dress, and high heels and walk around my room feeling like a grown-up. I made the best soups using water and soil and had teatime parties with my imaginary friends.

When I played with my cousins, they would use a black pen to make henna designs on my hands, and they would use the juice of crushed red petals to redden my lips. They would pluck jasmines to put in my hair and other flowers to place as rings in between my fingers. They would then cover my face with a thin white cloth, and I would pretend to be the shyest bride. Role-playing was always fun.

I grew up loving my place in this world. I was a caretaker and a mother, but best of all, I was a princess. I loved my floor-length dresses that flowed behind me. I loved acting like I was breastfeeding my baby doll, and cooking was my hobby.

My brother was my protector when we were out. He would be the one to buy candy on his way back from the mosque, and he would be the one to carry all the heavy bags on our way back home after shopping. I always felt safe when I walked by his side.

My dad had warm arms that cuddled me and big muscles I would boast about to my friends. “My dad is stronger than your dad,” was what we would compete about. Whatever I laid my eyes on, my dad made sure to bring it into my hands. He was my caretaker, the one that made my dreams come true.

Then I grew older and went to school. On my second day at school, I cried because I hated it there. My teachers were cruel to me and did not treat me royally; what I was used to. Didn’t they realize that I was a princess? They made me cry when I did not complete my homework and pinched my ears when I misspelled words. Reality started hitting me. I was not a princess in the real big world.

I came to age and they forced me to cover up. I was pushed behind closed doors and was banned from playing in the parks. “The boys will see,” they said. My world started getting claustrophobic. Why am I being hidden? Am I not the precious princess they want to show off anymore?

They sent me to college and made sure to remind me of the great privilege I had. “Look at the girls around you cooking and cleaning, you are lucky we are sending you to study further. But remember, as soon as your knight arrives, your first duty would be to serve him.” And so I studied knowing this would be temporary, and whenever I felt like my performance was poor, I knew there was going to be an outlet. My knight in shining armour was surely going to come save me during my weakest moments.

The day arrived for me to be introduced to my prince. I was a princess all over again. My family fulfilled all my childhood dreams. I had my gown. My hair was put up and I carried the best selection of roses. My family and friends congratulated me as though getting married was a big accomplishment. I was confused. I knew I had not worked for this, that this marriage was blind and arranged. Was I being congratulated because someone noticed my existence and decided to propose? Was it indeed a privilege to get married because so many others had not been noticed?

On my wedding night, I left with my groom, but I did not feel comfortable with him. How was I to live with a man that I had never gotten to know? Our problems stemmed from having different gender role expectations. I needed to be cheery, pimped, and cooking or cleaning every moment of my day, and he get to cross his feet on the coffee table and watch all the TV he could possibly fit in a day. He was the master, and I was the slave. Along with that, I needed to start working so that I could provide for the family. My husband said we could not survive on one income, and since I had a certificate, I needed to work.

I got pregnant but I was also the more reliable breadwinner of the family. Due to his lack of commitment to his work, he got laid off. Our relationship only got worse as I was expected to give, but I was not receiving anything but commands and demands. After a year, we decided to end the marriage. I walked back home with a baby in my arms and a heart that was bleeding from all sides.

I had to go to work to provide for my daughter’s education, I needed him to get what she would need in her life. I put away all my gowns and opted for pants under my abaya to protect me when I had to board the busses to get to work. I put away all my baking utensils and opted for fast food as I was always on the run.

I needed to perform at work so that I could secure my job and my daughter’s future. I spent just as much time as the men in the company but I was paid less because I was a woman and I “didn’t have to support my family”. When I spoke up for my rights and explained that I was a single mother, I was shoved aside and conveniently branded a feminist because we know God forbid you stand up for your rights… When I kept quiet and let my pain flow in the form of tears, I was asked if I was hormonal.

Many ask why I chose a career, but I explain to them that I had no choice but to go out and work so that I can provide for myself and my child. I had been taught that my place was in the palace where I nurtured, loved, and provided warmth for my prince and kids. The picture I had painted on my canvas throughout my young years was only a dream that I now hope to be fulfilled in Jannah.

When you look at me and see a strong and independent woman, I hope you realize that this woman has deep fears and shattered dreams. When you feel like I intimidate you because I know what I want in life and you wonder why I have this great urge to save the world, know that I watched mine slip away from my grip and I took up the task to create a better future: if not for me, then at least for the girls and women around me.

Relying on Allah

 Most times in our lives, we come to a point where we are made to look at things and make a choice either to hold on to something that means a lot to us or let it go, or as Shakespeare said “to be be or not to be, that is the question”. In such situations, people resort to different modes and means of making that hard but crucial decision, some will go to some crystal ball gazer, others will visit a tarot card reader others will go to a bone thrower the most naive will put it down on bits of papers then fold them and try pick a choice while others will pluck a petal from a flower for each option alternatively. As muslims, Allah and his messenger gave us a complete guide on how to live our entire lives and what life will throw at us as well. Allah says in the glorious Quran, “…………And when you have decided then rely upon Allah, indeed Allah loves those who rely upon him” (Quran 3:159based on this ayah, it is clear to us that first and foremost, we should have a clear idea in our heads of what we want then after that we turn to Allah to guide us on the selected path.

Mankind is made in a manner that he always wants, things which are good for him and sometimes even those that are not good for him. When it comes to holding on or letting go, its an issue of two choices that require proper analysis of the situation at hand, Allah says ……..But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not” (Quran 2:216)  with this in mind, it becomes clear that mankind is not aware of anything except that which is apparent to him, and that is why Allah made it that after making your decision then you turn to Him for further guidance, if its khair he will bless it for you. Most of us make the mistake of trusting our decision making to the extent we leave out Allah in the process or some say i rely on Allah then they sit back and do nothing of their situation, The prophet may peace be upon him ((in a hadeeth in the book of Tirmidhi narration #2517)) once told a bedouin who had let his camel lose and when asked he said, i rely on Allah, the messenger of Allah told him “Tie your camel first then put your trust in Allah”

Let us not be rash in our decisions making, hold on to something if it seems worthwhile and let go if you don’t think its worth it, Allah says, ………it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good” (Quran 4:19). but at the end of the day, after you make your decision and then let it in Allah’s hands, then be prepared for either results and be grateful to him as the messenger peace be upon him says ((in a haddeth in the book of muslim narration 2999)) “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him” 

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t” (Steve Maraboli)